ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
