i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
