Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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