I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Operation Purity has been aborted
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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