May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
