Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
