Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
40s are totally the cure
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
