I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
