she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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