I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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