Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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