I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
