kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
