Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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