it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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