And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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