i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
