they need to just BURY HIM!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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