can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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