He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she smelled like a LAN party
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
