He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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