whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She bit a glass in half.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize