That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
