We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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