She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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