soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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