Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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