Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
