Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
