My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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