we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize