The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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