I need help removing her.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
