Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
