so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
