Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
