mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
