You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize