WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
