this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
