you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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