And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Someone came in the potted fern
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize