This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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