Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
