No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
