At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
