Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
