she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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