I hate your face
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
