well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize