I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
