i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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