The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
