Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
