oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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