I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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