I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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