I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize