Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
