Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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