You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
