I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
