I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't deserve a penis
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
