I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
