i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize